In 2013, Ti Zhang received news of their mother鈥檚 sudden passing.
At the time, they were in their mid-20s and living in Paris with their one-year-old child and then-partner, while their mother was living in Vancouver.
鈥淚t came as a really big surprise. It was very sudden,鈥 the 35-year-old recalled.
鈥淚 think I woke up one morning and I got the news and the rest is kind of a blur. I flew back and it was one of the hardest flights I've ever taken."
The grief that Zhang dealt with was overwhelming, they said.
And it was compounded by the financial decisions they were forced to make 鈥 from funeral costs and handling a monetary gift that their grandmother left behind for their mother, to paying rent in both Vancouver and Paris while deciding their next steps.
鈥(It) was really confusing to navigate as a young adult and also juggling a young baby and without much of a network in Vancouver,鈥 said Zhang.
Decision-making of any sort can be difficult to do in a period of grief, let alone decisions related to money, experts say. That鈥檚 why they recommend taking time before making any big financial decisions while grieving.
鈥淕rief can be overwhelming; you're tired, you're not sleeping well, you're not eating well. None of us make good decisions in that state,鈥 said Sara McCullough, a certified financial planner at WD Development in Kitchener, Ont.
鈥淥ne of the things I find really gets overlooked is, it鈥檚 OK to take time to make decisions.鈥
Once you鈥檝e given yourself the time to process the immediate shock associated with grief, McCullough recommends finding out how long you鈥檒l be able to manage your basic expenses. She calls this a 鈥渉ard deadline.鈥
If your money is going to run out sooner than later, McCullough said you should figure out how you鈥檙e going to make ends meet. Taking bereavement leave could be an option available to you.
On the other hand, if you have a financial cushion that could last you at least a few months, she suggests reassessing your priorities since they tend to change when you鈥檙e grieving the loss of a loved one, a job or a relationship. This step, she said, can also take time.
If you鈥檝e received an inheritance, it can be especially difficult managing it if you don鈥檛 have experience handling large sums of money. In that case, McCullough encourages people to thoroughly think through their options or to speak to advice-only financial planners.
Beware of anyone who may try to sell you products or services when you鈥檙e in a vulnerable state, she added.
鈥淪low down and say, 鈥榃hatever is being recommended, how is that good for me?鈥欌 said McCullough.
Sandra Fry, a credit counsellor with the non-profit Credit Counselling Society, agreed that you shouldn鈥檛 jump into any financial decisions when you鈥檙e experiencing grief.
鈥淢ake sure that you give yourself time and space and the grace to recover,鈥 she said.
If you find yourself unable to handle urgent tasks like paying rent or mortgage payments, don鈥檛 be afraid to lean on someone you trust, said Fry.
In addition to using a non-profit credit counselling service for free financial advice, Fry recommends turning to therapists and support groups like GriefShare for mental health support.
For funeral planning, Fry said it鈥檚 beneficial to have someone there with you who isn鈥檛 as affected by the tragedy to be your 鈥渟ounding board鈥 and ensure that you aren鈥檛 making any rash and costly decisions.
鈥淎s soon as it becomes overwhelming, don't be afraid to reach out for help,鈥 she said.
Fry suggests watching out for scams, too. For example, she said collection agencies may try to collect on debt that belonged to your late loved one from you, but what most people don鈥檛 realize is that debt isn鈥檛 always inherited.
鈥淭he only debts that survive are joint debts, or debts that are secured to an asset like a car or house,鈥 she said.
After reflecting on their experience, Zhang鈥檚 advice for others is to have a plan in place for you and your loved ones in case one of you dies, which could include a will, a list of important passwords and arrangements for your belongings, and to become more financially literate so you can make sound financial decisions even in times of grief.
鈥淗aving this kind of knowledge prevents you from making really naive decisions in times of crisis,鈥 they said.
鈥淪o start studying right now, and when these things happen, you'll feel a lot more confident and prepared and make more informed choices.鈥
This report by 春色直播was first published April 25, 2023.
